While waiting for my appointment time at the hair salon the other day, I decided to catch up on my tabloid reading. I was captivated by the story of Elizabeth Edwards, who recently died after battling breast cancer for many years. You may know of her--she was the wife of presidential hopeful John Edwards. The story of Elizabeth Edwards is a true testament to the resilience of women and the roles we play as mother and wife. It is also the story of the importance and power of female friendship as we navigate the tough and lonely waters of motherhood.
Her life wasn’t an easy one. As the child of a father in the military, she often moved from place to place. She met John Edwards while they were both in law school. The married but didn’t have much money in their early years so their first anniversary was spent at a Wendy’s. It was a tradition they continued for each anniversary thereafter. They eventually bore two children. Life was good as John climbed the political ladder. However, tragedy struck their marriage when their son Wade was killed in a car accident when he was only 16. It was a pain that Elizabeth would never shake. She said that it was as if a part of her died with him. In one of her books, she claims that it was the bond of her woman friends who got her and the family through those tough times after the death. It was the power of her friendships that got her out of bed each day during the months and years following Wade’s tragic death.
Eventually, life moved forward. She and John bore two more children. However, she soon found out she had breast cancer during his drive to be president. She bore the illness quietly so as not to get in the way of his campaign. She cheerfully accompanied him to campaign activities, supporting him lovingly along the way even though she battled cancer. How many times have we had to support our spouse at the expense of our health or our individuality? How many of us have given up our careers so that our spouse could advance his? Motherhood means tough choices. We often sacrifice our needs and goals for the love of our family. We are happy to do
it. It is a labor of love.
As if she hadn’t had enough tragedy, she then discovered that her husband of over 30 years was having an affair and had probably borne a child with his lover. This infidelity most probably took place during the year she was going through chemotherapy. Yet, Elizabeth hung on like all of us good wives and mothers do, supporting her family at the expense of herself. Imagine what it was like to be sick with cancer only to find out that your husband had not been faithful. Many of us would just give up. Elizabeth kept going.
Time and time again when interviewed on how she could stay so resilient through so much tragedy, Elizabeth said it was the love and support of her friends that kept her strong.
I know that I could not have gotten this far in life without the love and support from women friends. Only another mom can really know how tough this job really is. Many of us live far from our own mothers or maybe our moms are no longer with us. When you become a member of Mothers & More, you can tap into that wealth of care and concern that comes from reaching out to other moms going through the same challenges you are. We all have bad times in our lives but the members of our chapter are there when we need a helping hand. Whether you are visiting a meeting or have been a member for many years, M&M is there to support you so you can be the best person you can be for your family. It gives you the energy and drive to keep doing what can often be a thankless job.
I get tears in my eyes when I am at a M&M meeting and I hear people sharing the stories of their lives with other members because I am so grateful that we have a group that can support the role of motherhood. I wonder how many “Elizabeths” our group has helped through the years. Our group is very special and worth every dollar of membership you pay to be part of it.
I pray that none of us will ever have to go through even one of the tragedies poor Elizabeth had to in her short 60 years. But, if we do, I know we can take comfort in knowing that our Mothers & More group and all of its wonderful members will be there to cook a meal or lend a helping hand or a listening ear to get us through those tough times of being a wife and mom.
In the new year, I raise a glass to all my fellow moms and cheer for you and thank you for being you! Thank you for all the tears you have wiped for your kids. Thank you for supporting your husband when you wanted to scream. Thank you for all the things you do each day that seem to go unnoticed. Thank you for moving forward each day even when you wanted to stay in bed and cry. We fellow moms cheer you on and support you. We notice all the little things you do because we are doing them too.
--Chris
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