A different kind of mothering

I was thrilled beyond belief this week to find out that two of my “kids” will be attending Homecoming together tonight.

No, you aren’t seeing things—the days of teenage-hood (is that a word?) are still far away for my household (seeing as Tyler is only 2). The young people to whom I refer are kids in my church’s high school youth group. My husband and I have served as youth leaders for nearly five years. That has been enough time to see many kids grow from gawky freshmen to mature young men and women.

And on some level, I really do consider these high school kids my children. I ache when they ache. When they express teenage angst on Facebook, I—like their parents—wish I could take away their pain. But alas, they have to learn about life through trial and error, just like I did.

The boy to whom I referred in the first paragraph is a high school senior who has never been to a school dance before. This year, however, his classmates unexpectedly nominated him to the Homecoming court, which meant he had to find a date. The girl he asked is a friend of the family and a fellow youth group member who attends a different school. From what their parents tell me, both are very excited. I wish I could be there to take pictures!

I have often referred to my youth work as an “escape” from motherhood. In reality, it’s just a different kind of motherhood. I have the opportunity to serve as mentor, rather than caretaker, and as friend, rather than the person on whom they depend.

My husband and I still keep up with previous high school youth through Facebook. I find the mother in me surfacing when I read about their exploits. Wow, she’s really going for the sexy look with those poses, isn’t she? He needs to watch his mouth! I have even started serving as a career mentor for a high school sophomore who wants to be a professional writer/communicator.

I love having a whole brood of teenage and young adult “children.” And I think they enjoy spending time with adults other than their parents. The experience really is fulfilling.

Are you a “mom” for any children other than your own? How does this impact your parenting decisions for your own children?

--Beth